lavender dreamland

2009-08-31T23:37:00.001+08:00

Crazy thoughts running through all over my head. Tempting little sucide thought now and again. Should I or should I not? The urges are steadily getting stronger again.
Of course I remembered the pain I went through for my last attempt but even that memory isn't THAT strong to keep the urges at bay anymore.
Just for once, I wish to feel totally normal for a day. To have a normal childhood; a normal life.
No one knows what is it like to be me. Hell! I don't even know who I am anymore. I definitely don't recoginise the voice that is receeding in my head now.
I seriously wish that my will power is strong enough such that I can just shut down my body systems and move on to my after life. I would have gladly gone away peacefully and painlessly.
Alas, it wasn't meant to be and so I can only rely on drugs.
Wish I'm devious enough to devise some ways to get my hand on really strong sleeping pills.
That would have been the best gift to someone like me currently.

I don't need just anyone. I just need that one person strong enough to keep me mentally sane and safe from myself.
This is the truth of why I don't do relationship. What they lack is the mental strengh to keep me sane. Simple as that.

2009-05-21T04:03:00.001+08:00

Twitter updates at the side bar!
I tweet more than I blog anyway.

Jon Schmidt is freaking talented!

2009-05-19T00:19:00.001+08:00

Well, because my mom said I look old and I thought to myself.
This is one rare photo of which I at least look at peace with myself if not young.

2009-05-18T08:09:00.002+08:00

While I may understand that you might like to have some witty/quirky humorous short description of yourselves in your facebook/twitter under the "about me" section, is this what it's called?

It irks me and still does that you have to take references from MINE! Be it blatantly quoting words out of my page or took such obvious inspiration from them.
This ruffles me especially since we visit each other's page often.
So if this makes me childish; petty, so be it.
but if you don't have such creative flair with words or just simply couldn't be bothered to use your brain to think of some then jolly well be content with whatever you could come out with.
They are supposed to be your freaking self decription.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm turning too cynical and suspicious of people as of late or
am I just shockingly perceptive even more so now than ever.
Still each relates well to the other does it not? Intertwining in such a way.
Moreover so when none of my preconceived notions had yet to disappoint.
An aptitude proved to be a blessing and a curse all at once.

Now if only I could practice assertiveness, all may be well.
If only...

(S.Kenyon):
"People basically suck and all friends will screw you over in the end."

Wheather to save their sorry hide or just for shit and giggles. Why not?
Sick bastard! Thats all we ever are. -WT

(S.Kenyon; Acheron):
"Its easy to look at people and make quick judgments about them, their presents and their pasts, but you'd be amazed at the pain and tears a single smile hides. What a person shows to the world is only a tiny facet of the iceberg hidden from sight. And more often than not, it's lined with cracks and scars that go all the way to the
foundation of their soul."

From me,
If put in a decisively negative way, it makes one shudder to sleep at all.

2009-05-15T01:59:00.002+08:00

Maybe it's time I start to have longer hair and learn to be more of a lady.
It's quite appalling really, of how little I know to be a female.
I'm may not look like it but I'm as unpolish as they goes.

But I guess only people who live with me will believe this.

Twitter outshine blogging.

2009-03-02T02:16:00.001+08:00

Browsing through some old photographs is quite refreshing to one's mind or so I've discovered.
It makes me realised that I've quite forgotten how I really look like with long hair.
But if you reflect upon that, throughout my whole 20 years of life, I've only had long hair for about a year or so before cutting them all off. This does makes it hard for oneself to remember I guess.
Not to mention past few months ago, I've gone through quite a frenzy of chopping my hair really short. The shortest I ever had in recent eight years.

I'm guessing, I'm paying for thoes implusive behaviour now that I'm of a more stable mind.
I'm predicting that it would take me a better half of the year to have my hair grown to the desired shoulder length. I've only just realised/remembered how wavy my hair could get when its at that length and found myself quite liking it currently.
I've finally understood what Jean meant by liking my hair when it's that long. Though I don't think I fancy them that much back then.
Oh well, people grow and preferences could change.
Don't get me wrong, I still love myself with short hair. Only, I'm quite sick of them now after having it for two years straight.
Really, there are only so many designs you can get out of them.

Mum bought me strawberries. We shall see how hardworking am I tomorrow to result in either stawberries shortcake or stawberries and cream.

2009-02-24T01:27:00.001+08:00

Jericho:
"Evil is seductive. It's what makes them so dangerous."
"No," Jared said, his tone dire.
"It's our willingness to believe their lies and to see what we want to see that makes it so dangerous. Even when we know better, we lie to ourselves and that's where the true betrayal is."
Zeth nodded. "As the great poet once wrote, 'To thine own self be true.'"

"Sometimes we let people treat us wrongly because we want to be loved and accepted so badly that we'd do anything for it. It hurts to know that no matter how much you try, how much you want it, they can't love or accept you as you are. Then you hate all that time you wasted trying to please them and wonder what it is about you that is so awful that they can't at least pretend to love you." -Bride; Night play

2009-02-21T05:40:00.002+08:00

Ever since my recent visit to Candy empire I had been stuffing my face out every day.
Had develop this habit of snacking after every meal no matter how full I am. Else, the meal just wouldn't feel complete.

Bad habit, not to mention highly unhealthly since that would mean either a large pack of chips or cookies on a daily basis.
I'm so going to gain back the weight I've loss the past weeks dued to my unfortunate eating and then more.

Had Hokkien mee for supper yesterday. Highly sastifying! And I'm pleased that I had the perseverance to resist the temptation of ordering a larger serving.
I can be a girl at times too. Hah!

Tried cooking Aglio olio with vegeterian oyster sauce for lunch today and whipped out this heavenly strawberries and cream with biscuit crumbs for desserts.
I swear adding vegeterian oyster sauce to the classic plain Aglio olio is a stroke of brilliance! It just bring out the sweetness of stir-fry garlic and being a garlic person, I've threw in lots of extras.

Apparently with baskets full of strawberries sitting in my fridge along with missing marshmallow for my mousse making, I couldn't resists the temptation of whipping up the thicken cream I've bought.
Hey! Still, I've been telling myself that this is quite necessary since I need to make sure the thicken can be whipped and the strawberries wouldn't last. A perfectly sound logic definitely. Hah!

Made claasic english pudding, only difference is I'm lacking the pomegranate juice and replaced the meringues with cookies crumbs.
Really, dry crispy meringues takes a long time to bake and I've got more life than that.

Nevertheless, I'm extremely pleased with the results.
Seriously what could go wrong? Although whipping the cream can be a bitch.

Look! My current addiction.(pictures not taken by me)

I ate 3 servings of this since my family don't eat cream.

Raspberries and cream.

I want to try this someday.

2009-02-19T00:47:00.001+08:00

I want a huge naked Forever Friend bear!
They are so cute and cuddly...
Actually they don't have to be huge, I'll be happy to have them anyway I can.

Didn't managed to find my mini marshmallow today. Hence, had to postphone my making of chocolate mousse to some other day. So irritating.
Why is marshmallow so often out of stock?
Plus I don't think common supermarket sells double cream. Had to replace them with thicken(whipping) cream.
I hope they works man.
Such bother.
Why can't singapore's supermarket sell canned HK-styled borsch, frozen berries, etc?

I'm going to try making aglio olio someday soon for lunch.
But first thing first, milk toast tommorow. =)

On a side note, I ended up dying my hair an intense dark red after all.
Looks so shitty. Can hardly see any hint of red.
But like what I told Jean, if I were to dye my hair red, I'd have to dye my eyebrows red too. Else I would look so weird and unnatural and I've some reservation bout that.

I loved and am jealous of how Coco's hair just light up/stand out in Rag & Bone F/W 2009.
However, I felt that her stylist should've dyed her eyebrows too. She looks so unnatural in close up with brown eyebrows.
I'm so glad that Sasha's cheek bone are finally back. Look so much better and more interesting than when her face are all puffed up.

2009-02-11T04:06:00.001+08:00

I'm think I'm losing weight again dued to all the weird hours I've been keeping.
Damm!
I'm barely hanging on to all my pants/shorts.
I'm already anemic and I don't think I've been consuming enough nutrients lately.
Kept getting frequent dizzy spells and felt like my head has been swimming among the clouds.

Mcfly are hilarious. I prefer their acoustic to their album though.

Qns 1: " Danny, who's the most famous person in Dougie's phonebook?"
Dougie: "Me"
Harry: "You don't have yourself in your phone, idiot!"
Dougie:"I do, cause I don't remember my number!"

Ons 2: Is there any role you that would really love to play?
Dougie: I'd love to be in a porno.

I want my HK-styled borsch and rosti.

2009-02-10T02:26:00.002+08:00

Looking at Coco's new pic only serves to fan my sudden desire higher to dye my whole head a dark natural red.
No more flaming fake red.
It's long past due for me to re-dye ever since my hair had fade from a dark burgundy
to an ugly brown.

I want a good quality fringed suede boots so badly!!!
Saw some great collections under Gucci.
Damm!
Topshop have one looking average though but I'm not so sure bout their quality.
I don't like their height. Found the heels a bit too short for my liking.

2008-09-15T17:24:00.000+08:00

Never get too suggestive with me unless I gave any indication I'd welcome it(Hardly). It makes me feel like kicking you in the ass(hard!) and shoving your balls up your throat!
Yeah, gag!
No one ever learns.... Not one!

Obession.
Sometimes/frequently I felt that this is all I am to people.
Because I'm just so near yet so out of reach.
Is that it?
So if I were to start to avail myself out all this crap shit would stop?
Why can't I have a friendship pure and simple?
I myself is complicated enough. I don't need any extra complication thank you!
Why?

With all due respect, I'm not even remotely beautiful. I just have an insane mind.
Which reminds me of Blood Ties; Henry's line. "I don't have mojo, I have charm. Call it charisma if you like." Ha!
Apply to me not.

2008-09-10T16:26:00.000+08:00

Watching Blood Ties late at night creeps me out.
If only I wasn't such a sensitive; scary cat....
Oh well! Which is why they say curiousity killed the cat.

Vicki is love and sarcarstic humor turns me on. Oh god!
Hendry has the best lines ever!

And, my heart is still thumping erratically after the last episode.

That being said,
Qns: Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Ans: Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Gawd! I so love this!

Lastly,
Qns: Why did God create man before woman?
Ans: Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

2008-07-02T14:22:00.000+08:00

And so that is if the earth doesn't suck, vermins would be flying everywhere.
But then again, precisely because the earth does suck, vermins are crawling everywhere and I meant that literally everywhere in every sense.
Yet even so, I guess it does help a little since vermins that fly could cause more damage then vermins that crawl. So, be glad that you are living in a world that sucks.

So what I can say at the end of the day is, happy sucking earthlings.

morbid fantasy rules!

And people in hell wants ice water.
But just this once, I hope fates have mercy.

2008-05-29T17:09:00.000+08:00

Did I mention reformatting your laptop is one hell of a bitch? I'm must have been further gone than I originally had thought.
Reformatting my laptop in the middle of the night out of boredom.
Have any watched vampire knights? Kaname and Zero who would have endeared to you more I wonder?

2008-05-10T17:00:00.000+08:00

Speed Racer is cool shit can! Total awesome!
Omg! Love all the fast cut scenes. Keeps you at the edge of the seat and yes I'm totally blown away by the animation. How I wish I could do thoes. But forget it, I probably could achieve thoes effects but it would prolly drove myself crazy first with all thoes tedious editings.
I have serious issue here with short attention life span.
Call me a geek. I'm turning into one anyway...
Geeks and nerds are cool people!
I'm still recuperating from the after SIP trauma here.
Books/Novels goes a long to soothe my souls. I'm almost done with one part of the series and can't wait for their new upcoming release.
After that there are still a stack waiting for me to read through.
200 plus novels ebooks in my laptop lays awaiting. =)
My goal is to finish 2 books in a day. Life is so sweet here. If only such would last.

2008-04-02T15:47:00.000+08:00

Trouble. You totally invented that word.
YOU are the troubled ones.
Ungrateful yet arrogant. All that big ego thing again.
We don't have to do anything, You'll volunteerly drag your name down in the mud yourself. Just don't make us fall too.
So much for sourcing talents.

How petty can a person get? Things that you do, we are like so embrassed by it can! To be associating with such a person like you, I think people actually knows but they are just humoring you; standing aside, watching you fall. You are like a joke to them if you haven't realise it yet.
Revengeful on top of being petty, ungrateful and arrogant.
You are a walking disaster.

To top off everything, to think that you actually believes you are in such an exalted position whereby you are able to keep a mistress. Don't make me laugh can!

2008-03-28T18:21:00.000+08:00

Because I'm such a kind owner,
I feed my laptop green tea to save it from dehydration.
Worried that after having a relaxing spa in green tea it might get a cold being all drenched, I set my mum's hair dryer to max and aim at in straight in close contact for more than 30 mins.

All I hope now is that my laptop is still repairable.
And all my files inside are still intact.
I've got so many precious files in it!!
Dammit!

Just reach home from work and I offically reached home at 2.30 AM. Haven't been sleeping much for the past one month plus. Practically survivng on like an average of 2 hours of sleep each day. Sometimes not even and hour and yes, I have to work long irregular hours too.
And trust me. There are actually some people out there who thinks that sleeping really late or not sleeping at all is so cool and could actually go about bragging that they haven't sleep for the past 24 hours etc. Lolx. How ridiculous can! They think not sleeping is so happening.

2008-03-25T15:33:00.000+08:00

48 hours marathon reading early into the late morning is damm hyper can. Not to mention that I had to work in the day which leave only my nights to reading. No sleeping at all. Yes! That's how I spend my weekends. Marcus and SIP stuff in the day, readings throughout the nights. And Yep. I work during my weekends too and no there is no OT.

Trying to to do some illegal downloading of Adobe Illustrator CS3 now. There is still half to go before completion. Lets hope that it can work. Quite doubtful of it but I'm so sick of using the oh-so-outdated Illustrator CS in my Laptop. Well, I supposed if CS3 isn't that available for download yet I can always download CS2. But who in the right mind would want to use it with CS3 being out and about?
Gwad! I feel like such a computer geek can. Actually I felt that I actually becoming more and more of one. You would be suprised at the depth of knowledge I've attained now.

I wonder if I can actually do some illegal downloading of graphic card too. Will keep this in mind and check out someday in the near future.

Right! Got to present 10 idealisation to Marcus by tomorrow and I totally forgot about that. Haven't done a single thing yet. And I still have a bunch of excel files of cotacts to compile which I haven't got the time to do so yet. And there is still the SFF stuffs to settle by this thursday.
So many things to be done yet so little time.

Don't be suprise if you found me in hosipital bed suffering from exhaustion one of these days.

Taken to carrying my suoer sharp pen knife with me wherever I go now which is only the logical thing to do. Horrible experiences.

2008-03-19T16:52:00.000+08:00

I cut myself, I scaled myself, I knocked myself. The next thing you know, hopefully, I would kill myself.

I don't know what's up with the biasness against him. At least he bothered to ask and helped. That's alot more than I can say for the rest of you.

You really got no idea do you? I could probably name afew possible reason why Dennis doesn't like you and the top of my list would be that you are so damm rude and can't seems to see beyond yourself.

2008-03-16T16:48:00.000+08:00

I'll be sure to miss kv when he is gone. His presence is comforting among all the chaos. As far as guy can go, he is the nicest that I've met.

Supposedly I should have gone school to do my CAID renderings today but due to personal reason; unhappy stuff, I just can't be bothered. Can you believe? P2 submission is this coming Tuesday and I have not done anything to it!

After this week, hopefully, I would be able to spent two months away from her. I supposed it would do some good to my emotional well beings but that would also mean I would drift away from another her for two months too.
I don't dislike her but at the same time I just can't bring myself to like her.
Sometimes I wonder if I had genuinely like anyone. She should have known what her problem is or at the very least have some idea of it but she just refuse to do anything bout it cause she find nothing wrong with it.

After disappearing for so long, When I finally got the chance to get back, feeling cheated, wishing to talk but did they care? No. All they care is to talk among themselves, about themselves. All of a sudden, everything seems to be so distant to me and I felt serene again. Feeling like an outsider viewing from afar, intruding yet not being there, I just retreat back to my safety zone and no one seems to notice. They just go on and on.
I wonder at that time if they were in my position how would they react?

I must be alot more forgiving then I had thought and like myself to be. I wonder why there don't seems to be any real anger in me. Is that good or bad?
Listening to Canon in D major makes me feel so serene. Someday, I would master it.
This is one of my favourite major piece of music. I react to it like no other. That and a few other songs.

I go through this period of time where I would be obsessed with a particular song and would listen to it all the time continously. So even after the obession fades, everytime whenever I hear that particular song playing, it would bring back all the feelings I had at that period of obession may it be good or bad. Mostly, It just made me feel wishful. All thoes bittersweet memories.

It's strange yet funny how in friendster you are always connected in one way or another. Is singapore really this small?

2008-03-14T19:51:00.000+08:00

"23.. huu gets married at a frikkin' 23?!"
Haha! Saw this phrase in hamster's blog and it made me laugh damm hard can. Lolx. Oh well, better luck next time.

For me I guess I should be glad that he is married. One trouble less. I've got more than I bargain for. Damm irritating. What's up with them seriously...

I can pretty much tolerate anything but the one thing that I could never tolerate is people stealing my belongings. Not as in thoes literally stealing kind but you should get the jeez of it.
Am I selfish? Yes and No. I AM selfish to some extent. What's mine stays mine. That's all I ask. Really...

What's up with all thoes peole with so much anger in them? It coloured their mindset and really, they think the world owe it to them.
I'm never happy when I'm around her. How can you ever be happy when you're with people that has so much anger and issues with everyone and everything?

I had missed the Dipolma show. How sad... Got to be in Expo to help out. Furniture trade fair. Four days event. Damm cool can! Some of their showcase pieces are freaking awesome. But only the fourth day is open to the public. Free flow of alcohol everyday after 4.30pm. Happy hours. Thanks to Bombay Sapphire. They are serving thoes cocktails drink so I could drink. =) I got drunk the other day. Haha. It's like I'm still very awake and knows what is going on but my head felt really heavy and I have thoes quesy feeling. But thoes feelings are gone after 2 hours or so. Thank god!
But I was damm high and I go around hugging girls and shout hi to everyone I saw.
I realise I love hugging alot. Loves snuggling up to people.

Feeling them tired but I've got so much to do. I'm so overwork. P2 submission on Tuesday 18 march and I haven't start anything on it. Never got the chance to thanks to my really early SIP. Oh well, see how I work magic. Haha! If I can pull it off that's really miracle of miracles.

Why are people always so predictable? So not fun. As I had expected, no one wants to indulge me. How sad can! They just stay clear of my path whenever I'm in one of my mood. Why bother with me when I could be of no use to them? My only use is to be like a freaking entertainment to people but who will entertain me when I'm down?

People keep asking me what I look out for in a guy but it's really simple actually.
All I need is someone who could keep me in rein and curb my wilder impulse but not a controlling freak and I definitely do not want someone whom I can step all over with.
Basically, I want a balance.
That and a gentleman at heart and I'll warm up to you. Simple isn't it? But really rare.
Simple gestures like opening the door for ladies; holding it out for them and always being ladies first at all times really touches me. But how many guys have you known or seen behave in this manner? Not just to their girl but to ladies in general.

Oh! One small little piece of info for someone. Flip phone is actually so much easier to do than slide phone. I thought that should have been obvious. Want to know how to make your phone slide? Observe more closly at the sliding motion. Or I should say, observe your phone closely. Look at how they are built and how the parts are joined. The answer is there.

2008-03-08T14:55:00.000+08:00

Why do there seems to be so many smokers around? And why do guys always love to think that girls have it the easy way? Girls are definitely not the weaker sex. Especailly not with all the horny guys panting around after them thinking with their penises intead of their brains if they had any. Now tell me who is the powerful ones here.

2008-03-06T18:17:00.000+08:00

My new all time favourite =)
The current addiction.

2008-03-05T14:09:00.000+08:00

Beautiful!
Now THIS is L-O-V-E!!
Too bad... I've always been a sucker for the Phantom of the Opera.
Gerald Butler is so damm H-O-T here can!
Daddy... now THIS is my dream guy. Wahahaha... Get me one.

Sarah Brightman is fantastic here. Wish I have her voice...

2008-03-05T13:55:00.000+08:00

It comes as a suprise I must say but oh well... I'm not the one at the losing end but still... Childish actions.

Marcus called me at 2am in the morning to meet him at Vivo at 9.30 am later. How nice...
He is really something.
And and you know what? Cause I overslept and thought I'm late, I cabbed over there and ended up he is much later then me. Should have just cab to kovan and took train there.
Know why he was late? He was gaming late into the night THEN realised that he had a meeting sheduled tommorow which explained his really early call.

I wonder if it's him who is lucky that I don't sleep at night or me who is unlucky.
Plus due to SIP stuffs, my phone is on 24/7 now. So long as it's not message (Cause I put it on vibration mode) I would wake up to it even if I'm asleep.

Anyway... after meeting and lunched at Vivo, we went touring round singapore AGAIN. Cause it's only me and him this time round, Pat wonder if it was a date. LOL! We literally went round half of singapore.
From Vivo to Alexander road( He got lost while driving there) to Woodlands to Blastier to somewhere near Toa Poa Yo to Robbinson road then FINALLY to NAFA where we stayed for quite sometime before he called it a day.

Continuing tommorow though... I supposed I could hardly go to school for class at this rate. Dennis is going to skin me alive man.

Ah well... Is it really that weird being 19 of age but never been in a relationship before and never been interested in it? Marcus choked on his food upon hearing that and is damm inquisitive bout it afterwards. He said that me and Hui Ling are like two 5 years old in a 19/20 years old body. WTH!

I supposed because he is a senior and a gentleman that's why I've tolerate all his last miniute nonsenses without more than slight irritation.

He said to bring us to the Zoo when our SIP are over. Really treat us like a kid huh!

2008-03-04T14:17:00.000+08:00

I would love anyone who could manage to bring me to watch some decent musical now. I want to watch beauty and the beast but this is singapore. Doubt they'll ever consider to have it here.

If you were to make a choice between blind or deaf, which will you choose? People are always shock that I would choose blindness over deafness. I don't mind not being able to see that much but I'll die without music in my life.

I love thoes peaceful time by myself being away from everything. It allows me to think and sort out my thoughts/emotions and come out with some weird rubbish in the mean time too.

2008-02-29T17:38:00.000+08:00

I swear I almost died twice today. Marcus's driving skill is superb.
Feel like throwing up. Over ate.
That's all folks.
Consultation with MARCUS tomorrow.
Thank god for Marcus that I've got excuse not to appear in school so often this block. Considering to skip the whole of workshop too. We shall see... I'll come out with something by then.
Between Marcus, SIP and P2. I've got absolutely zero spare time to be bothering bout any other stuff. Might as well.
Marcus is a teeny tad irritating with all his last minute meetings and changing of venue though. Like wth.

2008-02-28T16:09:00.000+08:00

My all time favourite! =)
Yes. I watched and love all Barbie's movies but this is the best!

I've got so much to say but lack of time. Till next then. Bye!
Enjoy the video. =)

2008-02-25T17:27:00.000+08:00

Right! So later in the day, we are supposed to meet Marcus BUT time and venue is not confirm. How great!

So I randomly asked my mum a few days ago what would happen if I were to drop PID and apply for NAFA now. As predicted, got a huge reaction from her and lots of nagging the following days. In short, I die die also must complete my dipolma even if I were to tear/burn it straight after I receive it. Trust me. This is definitely what I had planned to do. Burn up my diploma.

Since I loved to read so much maybe I should go brush up on my english and study to become an editor THEN I can read my days away. And what's more? I could read for FREE! Haha! Not bad ehz? BUT, instead of thoes geeky editors, I would be a super stylish editor, starving myself with what little pay I earned to afford Chanel, Lagerfeld Gallery, Dior, Burberry and Gucci!
Or on second thought, I should go study medieval history, specialised in it and graduate to become a university Professor in Cambridge or Oxford. Imagine me being that, a fashionable chic looking Professor. How cool is that!
While working as a Professor, I shall go study part time fashion design and becomes a full fledged Fashion Designer by the time I reached 50 of age.
And since I'm the fashion designer, maybe working for Chanel, I shall use myself, a 50 years old looking old granny, as the face of the collection. Haha! Imagine a 50 years old looking granny with wrinkled skin, wearing this sexy outfit inspired by lingerie maybe, modelling. Life size campaign Poster of me everywhere. By then I most probably would have become the males' population worse nightmare, seeing this old granny scantily clad in sexy outfit everywhere!
What a freaking cool life that will be! Awesome!

With this end in mind, I shall be self motivated and work towards these goals. Right!
This show how freaking stress up I must be now. Dammable P2! I swear this is not some cock up fantasy, I spent time creating up. It's just something that have always been at the back of my mind.
Wait till you see this new concept skectch I've cook up with to show gerald. I swear that would just be the thing to drive him up to his really early grave man.

2008-02-24T18:19:00.000+08:00

Whatever... People can talk whatever they want. More than anything in I hate in this world are hypocrites and you'll never see me being one.
I could be... maybe. But I can never maintain that facade so why bother? It's digusting.
Maybe I do need a psychiatrist afterall. My mind seems to work in a total different way from the others. Especially in the way I deduce stuff.

Heard from the radio that the physical characteristic of a capricorn are long face, good figure and toned tights.
Long face? I don't have them. Good figure? Well at least I'm not out of proportions.
Toned tights? That is true I guess. Hard not to be with me literally running around in heels for quite some years now. You can bet that my calf and tight muscles are really hard.
So girls, if you want to build some muscles on your legs and tone them, skip thoes running shoes and start wearing heels to run. It really works! =)

2008-02-23T15:58:00.000+08:00

Had a follow up, sort of like an portfolio evaluation today with Marcus and talked about our strength and weaknesss.
And guess what? It came as a suprise though that my portfolio isn't as shit as I've always thought after what he'd said. And if you think I'm going to reveal tips of compiling a good portfolio here, Haha! No way!
Human should learn to be abit selfish sometimes. Lesson learnt from her's truly.
Anyway, according to what he said, my strength is in illustration work and sketching. Yeah, sketching... like what's new but I'm never really that confident in them truth to be told. Concept sketch is a new thing though. He said mine was quite good. Suprisingly, since I never like drawing it but he wants me to practice more on it so I would become a natural which is bad. I hate doing thoes conceptionalize 3D drawings. And my weakness is that I always tend to beautify my work by adding bits of extra lines here and there to perfect it. Totally unnesessary as it's distracting and will take the attention away from the product.
Haha! Blame it on me being an art student. LOL!
Next is illustration work. Oh well, it's something I enjoyed doing and did quite well in but I never believe myself to be good at it. Aparrently, he think otherwise.
I guess I really should learn to start having more self confidence in myself and especially in my work.

All in all, to summarize, he said that I have the skills and talent but lack the proper guidance that will bring me to the top. Mainly is that I lack the practice too. Quite spot on I would say. But the actual scope of the day is IF he decide to take me in, most probably, there'll be high chances which he promised that he'll try to throw me in to help out at the coming Singapore Fashion Festival. There! Because of this sentence, I just sold myself off for $200 giving up another offer of a $400 plus pay.
I'm quite pathetic isn't it? Gerald thinks that I agreed to this only because Marcus is more handsome. -.-

Was in a really low mood yesterday. Of all places, I had to have our interview in NAFA and while being there, we happened to chance upon Sophia and Hidayah. Both looking radiant emitting happy sparks. They studied fine arts there by the way which is a huge stab in my heart. Okay, nevermind, continuing on... Of so many campus in NAFA, I HAD to have our interview in the school of FASHION DESIGN! WTH! You can literally tear out my heart and stab it thousand times. Posters showing all their award winning works are everywhere and our interview is held in their gallery room which is preparation for their graduation show I think. Manequins of clothes are everywhere scattered out. Damm distracting during the interview can!
Could any day be even more depressing than this?

2008-02-22T16:22:00.000+08:00

Mum forbid me to eat anymore chicken. Chicken's brest to be exact. Cause she says my chest is getting too big. =.=
Oh well...

2008-02-20T20:24:00.000+08:00

Oh! How I wish to suck some blood now. Imagine all thoes tiny paticles full of adrenaline energy flowing through my veins. Bet this works better than any caffeine intake.

Yes, I've been reading too much novels on vampires and all thoes fangs are turning me the wrong way.
Do you know I've always secretly wish to visit the dentist to sand my canines sharper instead of straight like what most people would do.
Haha imagine how cool and cute it would be if I were to have them? Especially when flashing a big wide grin to people.
Freaking awesome!

2008-02-13T14:50:00.000+08:00

Some people just never learn. Stupid messages from random strangers I don't need.
Male ego! Seriously! When will they ever learn?
Don't ever bother to try dealing with me if you have zero intel. Happy dealing with the "Police" by the by. Bet you now must either be hopping mad cause you've finally realised you've been made a fool of or you'll be wetting your pants thinking of what deep shit you must be in. LOL!
The "story" you've come out with is really pathetic by the way if that's the best you could cook up to try "change" me.
Why bother?
Oh ya! Right! Male ego. Stupid bunch of MCP thinking that they could "heal" you. I definitely do not need any healings especially from the likes of you. Just what exactly do you think you have that makes you so over confident behaving like a proud; cocky rooster which you are.
Take this to heart man. Consider it a lesson learnt. Squeeze it into your tiny brain if you must and reflect upon this whenever you wish to try something "funny" again.
GOOD day to you! =D

Right! Skectches. I need to do some concept sketches for consultation and presentation.

I had Fish & Co today. New york fish and chip is love! =)
I had some werid addiction to biting ice now. And I think I'm getting quite addicted to soy milk and having green tea with meal.

I'm so tempted to do red highlights again... or maybe make it whole head? Ah well... maybe in a few months time. Now is too soon I supposed. After all I just dyed my hair last month. Endurance! Must resist temptation! Come on! I can do it! =)

2008-02-12T17:31:00.000+08:00

K*box-ed with daddy today and I'm so out of practice. I can't even remember when is the last time I've stepped into K*box or actually sang. Didn't pay as much attention to thoes chinese songs now as compared to the past. No time!

I so wanted to go back to singing. Singing is my most effective stress reliever. =) All thoes extreme inhumman high notes! Wahahaha.... *Shuang! Keke!
Only thoes who've heard me sang would understand what I am talking about. ^^

Right. Got to go do my skectches now. Damm! I want to sleep...

2008-02-11T18:37:00.000+08:00

Terry's online and he is really rubbish. Whatever he is telling me now is really riddiculous but oh well, at least I've got some show to watch on tuesaday. That would make me look forward to school...

On the phone with Pat for the past 3 hours plus. Haha... talking all sorts of rubbish including the Victoria Secret's fashion show and my crazy neighbours' new tatics. We both agrees that this year's show is quite empty with giselle missing and all but they've brought in Miranda and she is really cute. =)

My dad asked me why I watch it cause it's models in lingerie parading down the runway but hey! It's nice okayz and the costumes and models are beautiful and what's wrong with women watching it? Beside, watching it on TV is so much better then watching it online. The resolution is so so so much clearer. If only I have HD TV. I wonder how that would look like.

2008-02-10T19:26:00.000+08:00

Relationship stuffs are such complex matter. I'm so glad that I don't have such dilemma. Everyone should just go and have an open relationship where both parties are open to filrt around and have flings without having to answer back to the other party. Haha!
Solve most problems isn't it?
And the best part is, you would know if the other party is true to you. If you are truly serious about one person even if you are allowed to have flings, you wouldn't do it. But on the other hand if you aren't serious, even if you are not allowed to, you'll still cheat on her/him.
Yep! That's what everyone should just do. And it sound so fun!

Right. I need to know if there is school on monday to decide if I'll have start doing my sketches tommorow. I hope there isn't.

I'm actually alot heavier than I look. It's random but I really wonder where does thoes extra weights goes to? Bones? Muscles? I know people who are a size or 2 bigger than me, with the same build, but weight so much lighter than me.

Oh ya! Daddy asked what kind of guys attracts me. Haha! I shall repeat then.
I want my dream guy to have a smooth;gentle baritone voice with an english accent top with a dry sense of humor. Cause I have a rather wry sense of humor myself too. Wahahaha....
Course it would be a bonus if they are Tall. At least 6 feet.
I really love hearing thoes english accent. Pat don't like them but they are sexy to me.
And oh yes. Gentleman is a must. No vulgarities please. I would make allowance for slight curse words of course. =) Really... these days everybody curses and I would think the most common and used phrase would be wth.

I think I should just go be a nun larx. My citeria are so hard to find. Practically non-existance I would think.

2008-02-09T16:05:00.000+08:00

I find Chinese New Year is getting boring-ier and boring-ier don't you think so?
Anyway, went to watch KungFu Dunk yesterday with family and I must say it's way better then I had expected it to be. Actually I just thought it's some crap chinese movie (fyi, I think all chinese movies are crappy) but since brother say want to watch, so whole family went together. I ended up laughing from begining to ending though, unexpectedly. Their production fee cost up to US$ 1 million I think, if my translation from chinese is correct and I must say everything is worth it. =)

Went to T3 just now for dinner and and and, I bought my RASPBERRY STARBURST LOLLIPOPS!! Almost cleared the whole shop of that flavours I think. Bought 6 and that's about all I managed to see. I'm too shy to dig the container till rock bottom for it.

Oh! And there is this new upcoming movie I wish to watch. It's called " PS, I Love You." Acted by Gerard Butler. Gerard Butler as phatom is sexy! Such voice! But I'm not too keen of him in 300 which till now I haven't got the stomach to watch yet. Too much blood killings.

Okay, Jeanette just sent me this link. enjoy~

watching this makes me wish like if only I can keep a cat. Sad...

2008-02-05T15:39:00.000+08:00

BESSIE STANLEY (ADAPTED; ERRONEOUSLY ATTRIBUTED TO RALPH WALDO EMERSON):

Success

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Beautiful isn't it? And very much true.
But I totally agree to what Heidi Klum had once said though, "Success is to be happy in life."
This is what I believe in to.

I think mind games; games that play upon one's conscience is cruel yet brilliant at the same time.
My compliment to you.

If a husband had an affair with a female, that female is called a mistress
But if a wife had an affair with a guy, what is the guy called?
Anyone know?

2008-02-02T16:17:00.000+08:00

Arh damm! Just read my TP mails and as of today my CM is going to change to some others that I do not know and don't even think I've seen before. I like Helen. This is sad. *sigh... and for a second I thought Benny would become my new CM.

It may not seems so to you but psychologically you ARE trying to control my life or to be exact, my actions. Damm you! The world do not live to please you. Only you are allow to make mistakes and expect others to forgive you but others are not allow to make mistakes and expect you to forgive them. You are allow to have second chances but you don't give the same out to others. Tell me this is fair.
You are trying to treat me the same way you are treating her and expect me to comply with it. Well good news to you, I am not her. Unlike her, I have a mind of my own and no one controls my action but myself. I do not live my life to please you and I account to no one. I'm not trying to be mean here but she IS weak minded and allows you to manipulate her every move. That's pathetic and it's saddening. You really are self-centred you know.
You say all you want to know is "To know and to understand. To feel and to empathise with me" but truth is whether you want to believe it or not you are trying to disect my brain. disect my every move so that you can make me predictable to you. So that in some you could have some hold of me. No one ask you to try empathise with me. I do not live my life in some wreck conditions please. I do not need all these. You say this is what a friend would do but I don't remember getting so irritated over with any of my friends over these actions you do.
You try so hard but you still don't get it do you? Truth is you never know me. You say you want to please me but you never know my likes or dislikes. You can say that I never tell you but I did. Sort of; in a way I did. All the rest seems to be able to grasp it in no time at all but till now you still don't. What split personalities? To my way of seeing you are just finding excuses. You are always so good at coming out with one whole pile of excuses when things don't go your way.
You would never be happy and at peace until everythings that surrounds you goes along with the flow of you. Now THAT is truth for you. You say you love but you know what? This is not called love. Maybe it is to you but this is not to me. The person you love most in this world is yourself. The rest is just secondary. That's why you would have such high citeria. To love, first and foremost there would be compromises and you had already failed in that.

Good day to you. Just leave me alone.

This is the first year I actually dislike CNY. Well, sort of dislike. It interfere with my findings for SIP. None of them are free for interviews. At this rate, I'm really afraid I would be left with no attachment. 10 over people fighting for that same job and they could only take in one or two. You tell me. Nice huh! Why can't the school just get a job for us? Instead, we have to go out there and use our own means to settle it on our own THEN come inform our lecturers of it.
Hello! Not all of us are some rich kids or have connections all around the world where you can just go ask you father's company or ur relatives' companies to take you in.

2008-01-30T14:50:00.000+08:00

I don't get how people always tell me that my sketches and manual renderings are all freaking good and stuff. Are they being fake or are thoes comments from the heart? I meant just when on earth did they even see my sketches? I hardly sketch and by that I meant HARDLY. The last intense sketch I did was during figure drawings and that's because I have to.
I enjoy sketching. Figure sketching. BUT I'm very lazy! Haha!
Esther called this morning and I was complaining to her how little stuff I have to show for my portfolio. All I had, thoes really decent ones, are my computer renderings. Which reminds me, I can't find my illustrator work. Damm! I must have deleted the files.
Anyway, she told me not to worry for my portfolio. Asked me to just show my sketches and they would be impress but thing is I only have few pieces of it and all are potraits and figures. But she told me to just any-o-how sketch some pieces now and compile it in and all will be fine. Lolx. She seems to have so much more faith in my abilities then I have in myself.
To think of it, actually. Everyone seems to have much more faith in my work then I have in myself. It's weird and it's confusing.
Bought another GUESS bag today. It's on sale so I guess it should makes me feel less guilty. I should start curbing my spending urges. Regretted buying the previous GUESS bag. I love the current one so much more. The previous bag is more of a need that want because it's size as it's suitable for my current use.
I want to get some tops for CNY but I've got no time to do some decent shopping.

Oh! I saw this cute little mini GUESS handbag in BHG today and it cost only $50 rounding up. Cheap! BUT I shouldn't get it. Got to keep telling myself I've bought enough. Sad but it's true isn't it?

2008-01-29T10:09:00.000+08:00

Gerald asked today if I would still want to stay in PID and I really REALLY feel like telling him " No! I'm never interested in it in the first place.". But instead, I just turn and walk away.
If only looks could kill, he would be six feets under now.
I know very well I would fail and won't be able to graduate if I don't get my SIP settle but you know what? I really can't be bothered. It's not like I have any contacts in the first place anyway. I've none and no idea where to find and not interested in any position that got to do with PID.
Know what? Just kill me!

Project 2 brief turns out to be alot better than I thought.

Jeanette just told me I'm Wanti and I'm brave and I would be able to work out anything. Thanks. But I definitely don't feel brave now. And even if a SIP offer were to drop right at my lap now as long as it has got anything to do with PID, Plastic injection moulding especially, I would be scared to shit to take it.ht.

2008-01-28T13:55:00.000+08:00

Eek! Life is so boring nowadays. Project 2 starting tomorrow and the only thing that is worrying me is my indifference to school now. Indifference to my SIP especially. I'm wondering if I've reach my limit of endurance, knowing that whatever I'm doing now just doesn't matter as PID is definitely not a course I would want to continue pursuing in the future.
Actually, I've a clear mind of what I would like to do in the future but knowing it would be just a dream that won't work, it shall remain as my own little secret. =)
Life is never fair.

Found this fantastic site yesterday that allows me to practically download all the novels that I've always wanted to read. Downloaded quite alot yesterday but I wonder if I'll ever have the time to finish reading them. Downloaded a few of my favourite novels too.

Sort of cleared up the mess at the table area in my room today and yesterday. One thing I hate about my home is it's always full of dust. I've just cleared up yesterday and today the table is already covered with a slight layer of dust. So you can imagine the condition if I left the area untouched for more than a week. Which is why I hate clearing my room. Not because of the mess but because of the layer of dust accumulated over months. My table could be neat like hell but as long as it's left untouched for more than a week... Oh gosh! The dust!

2008-01-23T16:46:00.000+08:00

Because of the lack of coffee at home, I've been drowning tea like water lately but they don't seems to have an effect. Still I read online that its supposed to be good for health so well, no harm done.
I need to lose some weight. All thoes weight I've gained seems to be going to the wrong places. I did wish to have some fats on my wrist instead of just skin and bones but I hate to have a curvy body. Urgh! A little curve is fine but not too much.

2008-01-23T16:26:00.000+08:00

Self-Indulgence! =)

I'm now happily broke... =D
GUESS GUESS GUESS!! Don't you just love that brand?
I wished for a much more chunky GUESS bag than the one I bought though... But couldn't find one to fit A4. Nevermind. I love this all the same. Chic and sleek! Haha!

Next up on my list shall be a Burberry bag. =) Burberry and Chanel are my absolute top favourite designer brand! Oh! and I always wanted/wished to have a Dior Gaucho bag too! Lovely piece!

You just gotta love these!

2008-01-19T16:39:00.000+08:00

This evening is horrible!
I swear this is the last, LAST time ever I'm going to go out with Wilson.
People, please remind me of today if, IF I ever soften my heart to his whinning again. Though I doubt I'll ever soften my attitude toward him again.
Urgh! I feel so dirty right now. I'm so, SO going to scrub myself all over sparkling clean till my skin is rubbed raw before I could feel clean again!
Thank god for Paul who saved my night.

Shoo! Shoo! Next time Wilson should just go find Wan Ting to go out with. She would GLADLY agree only problem is Wilson would surely thinks that he is too good for her.

Horrible day today. I shouldn't have gone to school or go any where else for that matter. So not my day.
I HATE my PS lecturer. Biased shit! She can fail people just because she don't like the pitch of a person's voice. Find it too high for her liking when that is not even stated anywhere in the marking scheme. Apparently she loves low baritone voice doesn't matter if you are a guy or a girl. FUCK!! This should have shown how much I dislike her.

I'm hopping to buy a GUESS bag but walk round all the shopping centres in Orchard today and still didn't managed to find a suitable one. All a little too small to my liking. Not practical. I loves to stuff all sorts of nonsense into my bag. And the ELLE bag I saw yesterday which I like, was out of stock and they are not coming in new stock anymore.

This got to be one of the worst feelings ever. Finally you've got the means but you can't find anything that urges you to buy.

2008-01-15T16:10:00.000+08:00

BESSIE STANLEY (ADAPTED; ERRONEOUSLY ATTRIBUTED TO RALPH WALDO EMERSON):

Success:

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded

So accordng to this, I felt that I'm almost there. =) Thats good to know... So what about you?
Good Luck!! =D

You know what? I really dislike my voice over recording. I sound like a little girl!!
Urgh! PS speech today was bad BUT for once I didn't took cab to school today.
Coffee's Bean after class. Eggs Ben and Boston nut brownie = heaven. Much needed energy.

2008-01-14T17:39:00.000+08:00

Late for APEL, overslept. Fish&Co, late, nice old granny, late, Pepper Lunch, Pooh bear, aching legs.
Late, some troublesome aunties, brats, late, irritating Mickey Mouse and Alice in the wonderland's cat, egg tarts, aching legs, some yucky hokkien mee, chips, sour lollipop.
Go figure. I'm too stoned to elaborate on anything and there is still the speech plus lots of extra things that came with it I've have to get done before 7.30am. I feel like killing my lecturer. Stupid email and sms doesn't help. To add on, this is the first time I'm at a lost of what to wear for school tommorow. We are supposed to dressed the part of our god damm speech!

Silver industry exhibition = okay. Nice and friendly people but talking for 3 full hours straignt could kill your throat. In short, = Over worked. Shortage of helpers. Either that or they simply just went missing.

Saturday is so much better than sunday. Starburst Lollipops went out of stock.
Are there any nicer word for butt?
Soya bean milk is my new addiction.
Actually my all time addiction has been and still is Starbuck's peppermint frap with java chip but I don't think they are selling now.

2008-01-12T12:25:00.000+08:00

Supposed to go for class at 9am but coincidentially me and Pat both overslept together and woke up at the same time together too. So, instead of rushing to school, I called Pat and we ended up on the phone for bout like 3 hrs while both of us were still half asleep. Talked lots of rubbish and dreamland after that. Lets hope tomorrow we won't overslept together for Apel class too. Vani msg for us to go school to collect our shirt for tomorrow but we just happily ignored that too.

I've yet to come out with a draft for my speech which we are supposed to email our lecturer by yesterday 8pm. Well... I did tried to do but my heart is not in it. I guess I won't be submitting my draft in afterall.

2008-01-11T13:19:00.000+08:00

Bought 3 lollipops at Candy Empire today and my all time favourite sherbert fizz. =)
Their lollipops are suprisingly delicious! Best tasting lollipops ever! I meant how many raspberry flavour lollipop can you find on the streets? I'm definitely going back there to buy a dozen more.

Made for myself and my family this whole big bowl of cold salad today for dinner and I over made. Too much and so I ended stuffing alot into my stomach. Its nice but not when you over eat. I so feel like puking now. Tummy is feeling so bloated.

Not looking forward to school tomorrow. I still have this SOS speech draft which I need to rush out by tonight and I've no idea where to start as always. I want to eat more of this raspberry flavour lollipops from Candy Empire like NOW!!!
I should be reading up on my notes and doing my reasearch now. SHOULD be...

Spent the whole afternoon yesterday trying to convince Pat that dolphins are really gays(homosexual) and not just loving creatures. I wish I have one Candy Empire store open next to my block.

You know after talking to someone, I realised that I've been sleeping really early after all. Sleeping at 9am EARLY in the morning. I must be a vampire in my previous life. I dislike the sun and loves the night. I wish S'pore could be raining everyday. Since I can't have snow here, I shall compromise by having rains but I know this is only my wishful thinking again.

I really wish to have this whole dozen bag full of raspberry flavour lollipops right now. Nevermind. Maybe I'll go get them tomorrow or during the weekends.

2008-01-08T14:49:00.000+08:00

Silver Industry workshop today after class at some ulu places just beside NUS campus.
No thanks to Vani for her fabulous instructions on how to get there though... All of us got lost. Haha! But at least me and Pat made it there without escort.
The products being displayed at the exhibition are freaking cool. Do come down to Suntec to see them this weekends. =)
I freaking took a cab to school today and its not because I'm late. For once I'm early but the bus was packed like hell so couldn't get on. Urgh! Thats why I hate morning class.
Come to think of it. Why do Vani only msg me and not Terry??? Vani NEVER msg Terry.

I so feel like dropping PS. It just don't seems like a module to me. I'm so regretting that I did not choose Leadership obediently like I'm supposed to. Nevermind~ I'm still so in a holiday mindset.

You don't call yourself her friends and took away her slot knowingly. You KNEW that that slot is hers yet you just blatantly snatch it away by putting your names in first. Its fine if you want to do it this way but don't come act oh so innocent and so concerned about what will become of her right after what you have done. It makes me sick! Really sick! Just because she is not around today.
I know you want my face. But you know what? Even if you got your wish, it still won't make much difference. You just don't have that refinement to carry on. I always thought that poise is what you are born with and comes natural to a person. If you don't have it, you just don't. It can't be forced. Looking at the way you hold yourself especially after today just gross me out. I finally get what Pui Yen and Jeanette means. And you are in no way a bisexual. Wake up your ideas please and stop being someone you are not. Are you really that desperate? *Shudders*

Anyway my new year resolution shall be to try to get as much sleep as possible and break free of my abnormal vampire lifestyle.
Mum went to clear up one corner of my room today while I was out and she threw away my favourite booster saying it was old and dirty. I swear I'm off to depression now. I just can't sleep well without it. *Sigh*

2008-01-04T15:44:00.000+08:00

Went to watch I am Legend with Jean and Pat. I don't whats about all the raves. I felt that the movie was only so-so.
I meant the story is good itself but the way they filmed it isn't really and the editing of the film was quite bad. There were quite a few scenes that doesn't really link which sort of distrupt the flow.
Some is way obvious like towards the end when Anna and her son reached the safe zone, the car they drove appeared to be sparkling clean while throughout the movie before its was really dirty and dusty. Pat was like saying "not bad... wah they even got time to scrub the car clean while escaping to safety." Haha!
There are lots of scenes like this but I'm lazy to point them out. Really tired. But their sound effects were not bad though... quite good actually and the suspenses are there. Like wth, half the time I got scared only because of the sound.
The infected humans look like Voldermort from Harry Potter to me don't you think?
After movie went to eat this delicious hokkien mee but I still prefer the one at Wistma though... I'm so craving for that but we would only be going to eat that for supper some other days so there won't be queue.
Saw this fabulous pair of boots from Everbest at Bugis which are having 20% off but there is no more stock. Urgh! Should haven gone there a few days earlier. Jean says she would keep a look out for me but I don't think there will be any and I'm still hoping to find this Carlo Rino boots I saw in Singapore but I doubt there will be too. How depressing...

2008-01-03T13:41:00.000+08:00

Public Speaking at 9am in the morning is painful. Took a cab to school today again... Damm!
I MUST try to be more punctual next time and not missed the damm bus.
Lecturer is actively urging us to get the textbook for PS which is as thick as my POA textbook( Which says alot) and it comes with CD rom disc and all.
Its not compulsory to get one but quizes and test given all come from the book which is really comforting to know huh.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I dyed my hair today. =) like finally able to get rid of thoes bleached strips from my hair. Dyed red brown which turns out to be really dark(black) with a hint of purplish red reflection under the sun. I like!
I know its really off from the colours I would normally choose but I did considered colours like sensual red and flaming red but since I'm dying whole head this time round, I shall keep it simple instead. Beside I reckon colours like sensual red(which I really like) would most probably wash off to bleached brown colour after a few months so forget it. Its not what I'm looking for. Maybe next time round. =)

2008-01-02T14:00:00.000+08:00

Start of the new year today. Nothing much new to me except that I burnt my hair just now. How wonderful!
Okayz! Lets see... What is my 2007 like?
Lots of changes here and there. Its been quite an up and down year for me. So lets just hope 2008 would be better.
So Public speaking class yesterday was okay. Was late like always and had to cabbed to school. Everybody had to make a little speech to intro ourselves to the class and
it was good because all of us were basically being very honest and all. One girl in particular Yumi was really cute.

After class went out with Pat to meet ML. Had our haircut and lunched at Jack's Place = yummy!
Somehow for some reason I always seems to end up with a male hair stylist which I'm not complaining. Since I prefer male hair stylist anyway.
Haha! For a obvious reason I think they are more gentle. No nails to poke you and all. Lolx.
I like my new haircut bt it still need some getting use to. Not really my usual look and all which makes daughter really happy lolx but I told her yesterday was the only day she would ever see me looking like that. Dinner at Cine with the rest afterward.
Yesterday was quite good actually... Thanks to all for the wishes and gifts! =)

2007-12-31T13:35:00.000+08:00

Just receievd an sms this afternoon the minute I woke up to inform us that school starts tomorrow 9am in the morning. =.=
Argh! Damm you to hell!
And I already had plans made for tomorrow!!!
Its New Year Eve for god sake.
What a nice way to kick off the block.
I won't be suprise if there would be classes on New Year Day too.
I hate CDS. If its a PID module I would prolly just skip it.

2007-12-30T16:07:00.000+08:00

Woke up at the ungodly hour of 8.30am today to help Jeanette's sis Lynnette with some filming thing at Toa Poa Yeo.
Horrible feeling man especially when I only went to sleep at 5.30 in the morning and the day before I actually stayed up whole night long to countdown to subject selection. =.=
Lame! I know... Haha! But! No choice... I only received the email that reminded us of it at like what? 3am or 4am in the morning I think( IF I remember correctly) and the selection starts at 10am later(Which I totally forgot).
And I know if I went to sleep then, I can never make it to wake up at 10 later.
Hate subject selection! Rubbish leftover subjects like always and kept getting signed out from the lousy system. Only around 12pm did I finally got to get some sleep and had to wake up at 5pm to celebrate Jean's birthday.
Went to watch Alvin and the chipmunk and the movie IS SO CUTE!!!
School is starting and I've got to break out of my vampiric lifestyle especially since I'm having classes at 9am in the morning. What is worst is its a CDS subject which means I can't be late! Jeanette envison me to be cabbing to school everyday lolx.
Oh! And I finally made cookies!!! Jam cookies! its not exactly what I wanted though so I shall bake again someday soon but its still good though... Tastes not bad. =) Unlike what my cousin made. Tastes horrible! He came my house and we bake together but his definetely cannot make it. lolx. Shhh...

Read online that the manga Vampire Knight is coming out in anime next year 2008. Oh my god! Can't wait man! I want I want!! Definitely going to get the whole collection of manga and anime when they are done with the full series. How exiciting! =)

2007-12-18T14:49:00.000+08:00

Quote of the day:
"I don't like standard beauty – There is no beauty without strangeness." by Karl Lagerfeld.
How true... I totally agree though some may think otherwise. I always find thoes standard perfect beauty a tad too boring. How about you?

Busy busy week. Spent the whole afternoon running here and there going from shops to shops to look up on their brochures on christmas specials and stuff.
*Headache. Trying to get all the foods settled before leaving tomorrow.
Pat and me are organising a christmas get together party at her house but till now now the numbers of people coming are still not confirm yet.
Troublesome.... All thoes last minute planning. Poor Pat got to handle everything once I'm gone.
I want to bake some pastries over but don't think I'll have the time since I'm coming back on thursday and party is on friday evening. =(
I don't mind waking at the crack of dawn to do it though since its christmas plus its Pat! =)
But my mum will be a hard shell to crack. Since its HER oven not mine.
Can't use without her permission and supervision. She got it into her head that Her precious oven is going to explode at my touch. -.-
Don't like baking at Pat's house. Her house oven too tiny plus I don't trust it.
We shall see when I'm back. Still, not matter what, I'm determined to bake some yummy jam cookies before school start! =)
Only problem I'm having is the only recipe I've got happened to be in chinese and damm if I understand a single word.

I love love those Rocky Mountain marshmallow! Its the only marshmallow I'll eat(other then those chocolate filled ones) since they are not overly sweet as most are and they are extremely spongy and chewy. Yums! Sound delicious?
I bought back one whole big packet. ^^
Kayz got to go pack now. No time left. Au revoir peeps!

I'm craving longingly for this yummlicious nasi briyani from yishun for a long long time but none of my family member likes to eat. *Damm!

2007-12-15T21:41:00.000+08:00

Thanks to this little creepy info which Pat told me, whenever I see a lizard now I'll think of her.
Bet she is real glad about this. *kekeke...

2007-12-13T19:45:00.000+08:00

Freaking adorable! =)))

2007-12-13T17:09:00.000+08:00

Terry is funny. Came to talk to me at around 6am plus in the morning today. Reason of him being up so early is because a cockroach woke him up! Haha. Gross I know but I told him that he is lucky cause the cockroach only touch his skin and not crawl into his mouth while he is dead to the world. Kekeke...
God! Christmas is coming and so is my birthday. Damm Terry for reminding me. I feel so old and loss out of a sudden. If only I can be forever 18. I like being 18. Not too old and not too young.
I need to get the camera repair before the trip but I'm so lazy.
Getting to bed near dawn is fast becoming an everday thing for me.
At this rate, I'm never going to get a good night rest before school start.

Know what? I'm craving for so many food right know and I wish to shop for new graphic card too. Christmas plus birthday wish for me. Either NVIDIA Quadro FX 3500 or 4500 graphic card would be heaven.
Urgh! I feel like such an IT freak to be asking this for present. Oh! And I wish to expand the RAM for my Laptop too.
Who would have expect this of me...
I'm practically drooling when I read this. Direct from NVIDIA website.

"NVIDIA Quadro FX 5500 and 4500 ultra high-end graphics solutions shatter the limits facing CAD, DCC, and visualization applications.

Performance:
Ultimate Workstation Application Performance
Advanced architecture enables exceptional improvement in geometry and fill rates with the industry's ultimate performance for professional CAD, DCC, and visualization applications.

Precision:
NVIDIA High Precision High Dynamic Range Technology
A new standard for image clarity and quality through floating point capabilities in shading, filtering, texturing, and blending. Enables cutting-edge rendered image quality for visual effects processing.

Programmability:
Next-Generation Vertex & Pixel Programmability
NVIDIA Quadro ultra high-end graphics solutions introduce infinite length vertex programs and dynamic flow control, removing the previous limits on complexity and structure of shader programs. With full support for Vertex and Shader Model 3.0, NVIDIA Quadro ultra high-end graphics solutions deliver sophisticated effects never before imagined for real-time graphics systems.

Quality:
Rotated-Grid Full-Scene Antialiasing (FSAA)
The rotated-grid FSAA sampling algorithm introduces far greater sophistication in the sampling pattern, significantly increasing color accuracy and visual quality for edges and lines, reducing "jaggies" while maintaining performance."

2007-12-10T20:35:00.000+08:00

5 minutes into Lolita and I felt as if I was brought back to Language of Film again.
Screenplay, Cinematography, Art direction, Sound and Editing... *Shudder*
But its a good movie! =) 5 minutes in only and the Cinematography was great.
And you know what? Its rated R! Haha! And... I'm watching it lolx.
Classic black and white film.
The first version I got which took hours to load is in french. Dammm! But thank god the second version I found is in english.
Anyone interested to watch?

Tell you a secret! I found english accent very sexy! =) If only I could learn to speak like that...
Hmmm... I think my dream guy must have a smooth;gentle baritone voice with an english accent top with a dry sense of humor.
Course it would be a bonus if they are Tall. At least 6 feet.
Haha! I know I've weird taste.
Shhh..... Its a secrect....

2007-12-09T17:21:00.000+08:00

Karl Lagerfeld SS07.
He's a genius! Love love LOVE his designs!

2007-12-08T19:56:00.000+08:00

Pictures!! ^^

Lovely Gemma Ward!
Such a doll...

Cute! Don't you think?

Coco Rocha!

Love this hair. =)

Miranda Kerr.

Rosie.

I want that Pink Dog...

2007-12-07T17:33:00.000+08:00

VSFS!!
Enjoy~~ =)

2007-12-06T17:46:00.000+08:00

Both my arms are aching like shyte. After effect from yesterday and so is daughter. ^^ Torturous bliss?
Can't wait for Ling2 to come back so we can go on an eating spree.
Pat ate Dunkin donuts without me!!

2007-12-05T20:15:00.000+08:00

Enchanted is ridiculous yet hilarious. Forget all thoes negative comments you get from others. The chipmunk inside is so damm freaking ADORABLE that you just feel like squeezing the breathe out of it!
Love the songs in it though all I can remember is la~lalalalala true love kiss~~
Haha!
Went to the arcade after that. =) Its been a long long time. Hockey stadium rocks! And everyone if asking bout the pink car lolx.
Pui Pui scared the shyte out of me that my legs actually gave way and the next thing you know I'm on the floor. Gave everyone quite a shock.
As usual, we were all late yet on time. This unspoken chemistry bewteen us... don't you just love it?
Altogether, today is a fabulous day! Christmas is coming and so are birthdays. Its time for christmas shopping! =)

2007-12-02T18:30:00.000+08:00

Tired! Tired!
Try having only 1 hour plus of sleep for the whole week. Urgh! Its horrible.
Spend the whole of last week doing animation. Went to school at 9am in the morning and going back at 11pm at night everyday. Thursday is the best. I actually reached school at 7.50am!! And I got scolded by a cleaner while trying to sneak into the studio course according to her students are only allowed to come in after 8.30am.
Well... I still managed to sneak in in the end. The cleaner auntie in the CAD Lab is nice. She let me in without saying anything. =) Went in to the CAD Lab and open Lab and start locking every available computer I could find. Its crazy. Lolx.
For some reason, lucky me, my rendering for each frame maximum only went up to bout 2mins so I could get it rushed out on time while most of the rest took maximum up to bout an hour. And there are a total 750 frames to render. 750!!! And they only add up to 30 seconds. -.-
The longest 30 seconds of my life.
The long hours spent on the lightings and settings are freaking annoying I tell you.
Thoughts of SIP are making me sick in the stomach. Gerald asked for our portfolio to be ready by 1 Jan and for us to be actively seeking out companys during our break.
Shyte! My portfolio is almost non-existance and the state of it... I don't think its up to standard. So! I've got to spent my nice nice long awaited holidays on building and improving my portfolio. =)
Nice holiday I'm having...

2007-11-27T20:16:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! I just found out something! I'm in deep shit now! *Argh!

2007-11-27T18:04:00.000+08:00

Too much coffee can make one sick. I'm serious. I'm suffering from coffee overdose now yet I'm still sleepy.

2007-11-27T11:11:00.000+08:00

Jeanette asked me to try Coffee Bean's peppermint mocha. Surprisingly I preferred Starbucks this time round for the first time.
Blender is giving me a hell of a headache.
Even though I have always complain frequently bout Alias and Rhino, I swear Blender is your absoulute nightmare.
Do you like gingerbread man? I like! Christmas means lots of gingerbread man. =)
What is best about them is you can slowly disect them apart limb by limb to chew! Kekeke...
You'll never know how evil I can be! =D Wahahaha!

2007-11-26T15:53:00.000+08:00

Watch this! You'll have no regret I tell you.
Damm funny!

Okayz so I spent the last two days reformating my laptop and stuff and its damm troublesome and confusing. Not to mention stressful.
Now I need to reinstall back everything. Great!
Stupid spyware.
But but but, I'm glad I'm able to fix it on my own! Haha!
Great acomplishment for an IT idiot you know!

2007-11-22T15:12:00.000+08:00

I think I have a thing for the smell of ice. Is there even such a thing?
I'm really painting to the last minute. Damm!
Tired shit!
Okay. Its my fault. I have short attention span.

2007-11-21T12:54:00.000+08:00

Animation! I'm going to make this cover hop and jump around.
Yes! I'm being perfectly serious...
CAID2 assignment 1 drafting =) Rendered!

Nice wing! ^^

Don't you find this outfit cute?
I wish I have the time to look for all the pictures from VSFS 07"

Having Figure drawing everyday while your mind is on CAID can kill and vice versa. I don't look like a kid do I? Why do some still persist on treating me like one?

2007-11-20T18:47:00.000+08:00

I love VSFS don't you? =)

2007-11-19T18:11:00.001+08:00

Ever been curious of mirror reflections? Do some quick search online and you'll find some very inspirational piece of work!
I love cold weather!
2nd week of Dec... I hope it snow! =)
I need more turtleneck!
This season of Swatch collection are love!

2007-11-17T16:33:00.000+08:00

Yay to Wilson for those lovely balloons. RED! =)
My phone commit sucide while running to the print shop today for submission. Damm!
Sleepy....
Christmas decoration are up at town.
Nice! ^^

2007-11-16T16:48:00.000+08:00

I swear Britney's new song Gimme More is not called catchy for nothing. Damm the guys for playing it!

2007-11-14T15:06:00.000+08:00

I did 6 print screen just now. I'm a good girl =)

CAID CAID CAID!!

I dread to think what we will have to do for animation.

1 week 5 days. *yay* Though I got a feeling that CAID 2 would be extended.

2007-11-12T19:16:00.000+08:00

One word. Sleepy....
Don't think can finish my work
Think can forgo rendering lerx...
*Dead*
There are still thousand print screen to do.
Totally exhausted can!

2007-11-12T14:51:00.000+08:00

I felt so mentally and physically drained...

2 more weeks left to go but I doubt I can survive tonight.

2007-11-11T16:48:00.000+08:00

Some minor things that happened in the studio yesterday that made me quite unhappy. Whatever it is, they are not worth it. Seriously don't know whats wrong with their intellect. Brain smaller than the size of a pea.

Went over to Visha's house today for deepavali celebration. Her mum cooked for us lots of yummy food!! Pigged out the whole day. Lots of catching up and gossips! Fabulous day =) Loved her house! Lucky girl...

Happy Birthday to this girl! =)

Visha's dog! She have THREE!!

Happy Deepavali!

More Pictures in Friendster... I'm lazy to blog more.Got to re-do everything for my drafting and deadline is on Monday. How shitty can things get?

2007-11-10T17:42:00.000+08:00

CUTE!! ^^

http://www.crunchyroll.com/showmedia?id=66003

Too tired to blog details... Some other days perhaps.

2007-11-09T15:47:00.000+08:00

This is priceless!
ROFL!

http://www.crunchyroll.com/showmedia?id=59007

http://www.crunchyroll.com/showmedia?id=59977

2007-11-09T14:19:00.000+08:00

Sneezing, coughing and more sneezing. I feel like going for a surgical nose removal.
Supposed to go to Pat's house to do drafting with her help but in the end is more of me helping her instead.
*Sigh!
This is more difficult than I thought. 4 HOURS! 4 HOURS!! just to get one surface layer out...
Outing with ML tomorrow. Coffee Bean's belgian chocolate ice blended save the day.
Chocolate of a thousand leaves to get me into mood tomorrow morning...
Feel like trying their Truffles cake. =)
Yes! All these sinful food while I'm still sick. Such a good patient I am can! Lolx.

2 weeks 3 days...

I can't be bothered with you anymore. You are dead in my book. I knew there must be some reason why I bring myself to be open to you. Gut feelings are always right! I didn't ask to be different. I just am. But you, you make yourself out to be one. Feelings in me that can't put into words... I realised I have never trust you fullstop! Not then, not now.

2007-11-08T16:50:00.000+08:00

Gerald is being a jerk today. Comments, comments and more comments! I'm so sick of it!
Honestly, I've seen worst. Why don't you go comment on them once in a while?

2007-11-06T13:02:00.000+08:00

Scratchy throat and killer cough. Think I'm might be having some slight fever too but I won't know since my brother make lost the thermometer. Beening suffering from semi sore throat for the past week and my suspicion finally came true today. Think I might have been sick for the past week since I haven't been feeling that well But I'm not feeling terrible either. Total weirdness.
Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!
Yes! Even though I've been plauge by lots of work I felt free for the past 2 days.
Cold war or conflict I wonder?
Figure drawing submission 1 today and shit! I didn't manage to complete it. Just short of one drawing. ONE drawing!! Argh! Nevermind, I'm confident of the rest that I've done. And And And today officially mark the end of Mat&P! *Cheers! I seriously hate Mat&P Stupid module that hardly make sense. Nevertheless, its OVER now!
Thank god no figure drawing assignmets today. I thought I'm going to die earlier on in the afternoon. 2days of sleepless night. Not even a wink. I hope to replenish them tonight.
Planning to start drafting CAID 2 in school 9am. tomorrow. Visha is an early bird and I've got not much time left.
An angel's touch to last me through the late night. Thats all I ask. Thats all I need.
Trust me! This block is all about and sleepless night and late night marathon.

I'm glad that you are gone. Yes, glad that you are able to let it go. Didn't expect you to last anyway. Don't think you have it in you. Tell me. From all the stuff that I've said to you, tell me, how much have you remembered and take it to heart? or put it into your head at the very least. None. I'm quite sure of. And you are surprised that I could actually remember comments you made. Its all about heart baby... how much did you care? Obviously I'm not allowed to have mood swing. OVER AND DONE WITH!

2007-11-04T15:46:00.000+08:00

Lovely! =)
I seriously love her features.
Love this 2 pieces! I want! I want!

Okayz! So back to drawing here I come! I'm so in need of some sleep! Been having only 2 hours of sleep only for the past week. *Sigh...

2007-11-02T13:57:00.000+08:00

Starbucks Java chip frap!
I think I'm becoming quite a semi health freak. Can't survive without any vege else I'll feel so unhealthy. But I hardly got chance to eat them with school going on so intensively. Oh! And I've have a sudden craving for the nasi briyani at yishun! Unhealthy but yummylicious! Though I can do without all thoes dishes. All I need is just the rice and the curry sauce. Lovely!
So glad to have my baby back home with me now... Having it placed in my room and being able to look at it every now and then just ease my weariness away. I could stare at it for hours! Haha! But I'm still missing one of my 8 plates. Plate 3 of 8, observation of my hands. Stupid Edmund Heng! Can't believe he actually allow the students to just take any of thoes plates in the art room back for references purposes. Who knows what the students would do to it. For all I know they might just tear out my work from the plates and pass it off as theirs. Yes! Some students are just this evil.
Is it weird to name my painting my baby? I don't think so you know... After all, it is something so precious and its a part of me. I miss Mrs Sim!
Figure drawing is fun but there are tons of work to be completed and more practices. Not complaining bout it after all I love it! Only I don't have the time and luxury for all that. Think I'm more or less settled in doing olyumpus digital camera to model for my CAID 2 assignment 1. Things should get smoother once this week is over I hoped. Can't wait for next friday to come... Might be meeting ML. Shall see how it goes. Long time since I last seen her and I miss this girl.
I want a guardian angel! Not thoes human kind but thoes with wings! =D Thoes with horns would do just fine too since I'm such a flexible person. I'm okay with thoes with fangs too. Just not the human kind please... Its so not fun and boring.

Sasha Pivavarova

Look at that bone structure! B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L! Love her cheeck bone! And such intense eyes!
Gemma Ward
Beautiful girl with very femanine features. But her face is getting a little tad too boring for me recently though I still love her.

Coco Rocha
Pretty little thing and she is a dancer!

Lastly... I love my new phone!

Been such a long time since I last upload pictures.

Don't ask me why it never came across to me of giving her the add to this blog. It just seems so wrong to give it to her. I dislike clingy people. Can't help it since I hate commitment. I'm really starting to get quite sick of her. Sick of how it seems like I'm somewhat responsible for her and sick of how she clings on to me so much, sick of how it makes me feel guilty whenever I'm having a life without her. I like her as a person really... but this clingy personality of her is getting to me and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

2007-11-01T13:01:00.000+08:00

Another sleepless night for me. Lots of work to be done tonight. *Sigh
For Figure Drawing I have 3 more faces with features, 3 more faces empty and 3 side view(Right) and 4 side view(Left) to be done hopefully by TONIGHT. How nice! And it would be good if i can manage to start drafting out my chosen product for my CAID 2 too TONIGHT! Which I'm still pondering between PSP and Mouse. Mouse looks simpler but Terence said its hard to model. PSP looks complicated but think it MIGHT be easier. Well, just got to try to practice a rough draft on both before I decide which must be done by TONIGHT!
And and, I've got to draw exploded view on this wooden toy for my Mat&P wood tech assignment by TONIGHT too! which I'm only given the photo to work on. Such nice group members I have can! To add on, the photo I'm given is not even clear in the first place to begin with. Hell! Plus plus, PLASTIC! I need to finish editing them by TONIGHT too!
Please note how many TONIGHT I have in this entire post. CMI
Went to check out this year 3 guy's timetable out of curiousity just now and found out that he is retaking CAID 2 and P2 this sem. Suprise suprise! CMI larx... He is forever retaking the core subjects can. Rendering, Drafting, Mat&P, P1 and now CAID 2 and P2. I wonder if he retake CAID 1? High Possibility he did. But since I didn't check so I wouldn't know. Still... Yep! He is damm pro. Really, I don't get why Helen decided to keep him in PID when others who are more deserving got to leave. Didn't see major project in his timetable so think he is offically going to graduate with us now thats IF he manage to pass his major project next year. Highly doubtful though... Wonder if He failed his P3?
Okayz enough! I've got to start work now. Stupid! More Cheese Tarts for me please and Belgian Chocolate Latte from Coffee Beans too!! But Cafe Mocha Latte from Starbucks would do fine... Why do they have to close down the Coffee Beans in Centuary Square? Or are they renovating? Either way, it sucks!

2007-10-25T13:37:00.000+08:00

Orion Choco-Pie + Hello Panda in the late night = bliss!
But but, what I actually long for is Mac breakfast. Hotcake with sausage!!
Right! So I haven't been sleeping for the past 3 days. Last week of the block so was trying to rush throught everything. Presentation slides, Essay plus plus Mat&P plastic assignment and god! there is still the wood assignment to come. Stop attending classes for Mat&P ever since plastic was over. Test for metals is hell and there is a test for wood this coming friday which since I've not been attending lesson, I got no idea what is it on about which is fine... what is not fine is I have absolutely no idea on what the brief for wood is talking about!
Anyway, tonight is plastic night. please give me the concentration to complete it no matter how shit or how wrong my drafting may be. But but ANTM on youtube is so tempting...argh!
Concentrate! concentrate!
I'm glad that I got figure drawing for electives but sad that Visha is unable to take it with me. Haiz... I hate having to attend classes alone! Still! I love figure drawingI Its been ages since I last draw. But why do I have it take it with CAID 2? Here goes another busy busy block for me.

you didn't reply my msg last night so I guess you had finally made your decision. It sucks! And this hurt not knowing the reason why... I thought we were actually sort of back to normal but I guess not. Don't I at least deserve to know the reason why? Don't think of me as cold when you are the one without a heart... I had a terrible night yst and just when I needed you, you are not around...

2007-10-22T13:36:00.000+08:00

I do miss talking to you every night you know... Missed having someone to whine to.
Wished that we could still talk like before but I guess its not possible with you huh? You make me feel very comfortable and I like this feeling alot. I would hate to see you destroy yourself cause like it or not you are one very important person to me.
I wonder if you know about this blog? Well if by chance you managed to chance upon it then good but then again, it might be a blessing too if you had no idea about this blog

Tell me how can I make the tears to stop flowing? For you and for me...

2007-10-21T17:46:00.000+08:00

I swear if I got removed due to Mat&P I would jump... I would seriously go kill myself!
Lots of things happen and its turning quite ugly. Please don't make me regret knowing you and please don't make me start hating you.
A human is only beautiful when she IS beautiful from the inside. Don't talk about extreme when you know some things could be change. You are just plain stubborn fullstop!
oh! Actually you know what? I suddenly felt that despite what you think, it might be because you love yourself more than the others instead of the other way round. True. For some instances they might be your oxygen but at the end of the day they are just some undeniable tools for you to function as per normal but you could do without them too. Its your pride that is hurt without them isn't it?

2007-10-07T16:29:00.000+08:00

F-O-R-G-E-T I-T!
I've tried to speak to you again but forget it.
Really... maybe this is for the best. Easy break. For you and for me.
Goodbye! =)
Happy Birthday to dearest daddy!! Hope you enjoy yourself =D

2007-10-06T15:05:00.000+08:00

This is shitty... I had absolutely no idea why MSN Messenger is not working for me anymoe. Restart the com upteen times and check through all the settings and all are fine. Only problem is I'm not able to sign in. Weird... And its still working fine this morning when I used it. Ah! whatever larz... too tired to care now. Hope by tommorow it would go back to working fine again. Of all time why does it have to choose to be now to break down? I need to use MSN to discuss my project!!
Voce tem-me dito uma vez que seus nao diarios voce caem para uma menina e voce e serio neste. Mas voce sabe que? Apos ter lido seu blog, eu senti que tudo que eu lhe sou e justo um distraction. Sim e. Eu sou justo um distraction para que voce esqueca-se que o hurt Cindy teve causas que voce nao e ele? Seriamente, eu desejo saber o que e exatamente em sua mente o dia onde voce se decidiu pedir para meu nome. Por que voce se incomodou mesmo o fazer de qualquer maneira? Toda a merda intensa do sentimento dos thoes voce me disse que, todo foi uma mentira? Tinha sido obviamente em sua mente toda a aquelas tempo quando voce for com mim. Talvez nao agora, mas e nao e intially ele? Sou eu justo uma comparacao a ela?
Eu odeio-o todos os thoes que mencionam em como voce quebrara para baixo ou nao capaz de encontrar outro se eu for ido. Voce deve mandar o poco alegre saber mencionar todo o estes me daria o stress. Voce? Como como você me encontrou, eu sou consideravelmente certo voce encontrarei um outro distraction em nenhuma hora. Sou eu hurt por este? Eu nao tenho nenhuma ideia… mas uma coisa que eu sei e mim necessita alguma distancia de voce especialmente se eu dever concentrar em meu trabalho. Nao comecou nada fazer realmente com seu blog… o fato apenas liso e simples que eu nao comecei nenhum desejo o ver.
Eu necessito comecar descobrir-se que myself e voce podem nunca me dar o que eu necessito. Nao tem nada fazer com gender e tudo com excecao de sabio emocional, voce poderia nunca heal me. O que eu necessito e alguem com a abilidade deixa-me acreditar no amor, alguem com a abilidade deixa-me rediscover myself, alguem que pode verdadeiramente me compreender sem mim que tem que dizer qualquer coisa.
Above all, the one thing I hate most is being lied to. I rather hear the truth no matter how horrible it is than to hear a bunch of lies.
Do you know I'm scared to death of the word commitment? And I would freak out at the word relationship? Haha... I guess no one knew this.
I need my sleep. Have a long weekend ahead infront of me. Really... all the Mat&P shit to be done in addition to ComDA. I will survive this no matter what.
Ganbarimasu!

2007-10-05T19:12:00.000+08:00

Why do I felt so used after reading her entire blog like she asked me to?
Random...
Anyway I'm supposed to be doing work for my ComDA but strangely enough I'm more in a mood to sketch. Do you know I love to sketch human figures... Its fun!
Well, will just take a short nap hopefully as I've problem sleeping these few days and just wake up early to do some work later on.
Back to her blog, I think I know why I felt like this... feeling abit cheated. But anyway, no matter what, this will end soon. I'll end it soon. I'm tired... even before reading her blog and this is just so not my thing. Guess we might not even be friends after this from what I know of her.
Do I care? I'm not sure... I think I'll will but oh! Whatever!
Its all for the best! =D
I wished to get back all my memories so I guess this is why I'm back to blogging.

2007-10-05T13:06:00.000+08:00

After so long somehow have this sudden urge to blog again.
There are so many thoughts in my mind now and so many past memories just seems to come flooding back to me during the past few days. Looking at the year ones now in my Mat&P class and there are like so many new alien faces that I didn't know existed previously and being surrounded by them make me wish that somehow I'm back to the first sem of my first year.
Time indeed passes really fast in design school. I miss Jeanette, I missed Pui Yen, I missed Mei Ling. I missed thoes days of coming to school looking forward to see their faces, hanging out, talking all sorts of nonsensical stuffs, always trying to escape classes, coming in late and sneaking off to eat.
Call me emotional, yes I am! I don't deny it and yes I'm being moody and down these days having to come to school without them. I hate having to go school and seeing so many people around me leaving. It makes me wish to be gone too.
So much thoughts and so little words said. It's hard to pen down whatever that I'm feeling now. Somebody once asked me why are there so much sadness in my eyes now? I wish there are words to describe how I felt.
Did I mention that I dislike the year ones? They are just a bunch of selfish brats. Oh! And I hates relationship too. They are just some bothersome shit! Can I don't care? Really all thoes words that you've said to me but did you ever once really try to ask and listen to what I've said? Have you ever try to understand what I want too?
I'm just going to pass my Mat&P this time round and hopefully, hopefully, I could get an A for my ComDA.
Last thing, window vista simply sucks! I need Alias install in my laptop larx but its impossible for vista. What shit!

2007-06-02T18:00:00.000+08:00

back stabbing is way too childish yet there are still many ppl out there doing it. at the end of the day wad do u get?
vulgarity is not not cool and shouting, stamping and banging is so kindergarden larz...
coming up to me to look at my work and telling me is fanstastic when i have not done anything to it is so fake! who are u trying to kid? all u care abt is YOUR work. as long as U don't lose out, nothing else matters. did u even tried to help once u work is done? the answer is no. u are out of sight. first reaction of seeing me everytime is to ask abt my work n results are getting damm irritating.
telling me that i look stress den proceed to complain abt ur work when none of it is actually done by u. wad u wan me to do? u already have a helper by ur side to do ur work when i'm still far behind time n u expect me to cheer up bcoz u r nt happy with wad you have? who are we to u?
coming to us only when ur precious darling is nt ard to help u out. juz bcoz u wan to do tis all must follow. i'm not a follower please.
typical singaporeans... self-centered bitch!
so i'm having sch on vesak day n tml too. yay! first time i'm happy that i can actually go to sch on a public hols. and my throat is killing me. illness during deadline submission is the worse of the worse. trust me. =)
outings nxt week. finally! i've gt so much to bitch abt to ML. =D

2007-05-07T13:53:00.000+08:00

Ahhh!!!! i so love phantom of the opera!!! its absoultely fantastic! the stage effects and everything is juz so exiciting =)
would die for a chance to watch it again at a front role seat.
the phantom is great but as for christine i don't really like her classic render of the songs though...still, all i ask of you and phantom of the opera are her saving grace. thoes are great. =)

2007-05-01T11:55:00.000+08:00

first day back at sch is ever so crowded and confusing.
project one sucks bt we have 2months to slog it through though... and alias sofware is seriously making no sense here. the list of comand is totally not user friendly at all plus there is someone duper irritating sitting near me. another egoistic know it all that loves to suck other ppl weaknesses to boost their fragile ego. too bad coz he can never be in par with the A students thus his irritating's action. pathetic isn't it?
the strangest thing i just found out is this year the pid freshies' core modules for pid is different from what we took last year. unless they decide to change its name or they plan new modules for them which sucks as it seems to be nicer den ours. to add on, their timetable is weird too.... they've gt no electives all.
dunno if that is a good thing or bad thing. i'll die with only pid core bt at the same time certain elective can be quite demanding and take our time and attention away from our pid core.